I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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