Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
