you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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