I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
