I smell stomach acid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
