So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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