I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
