member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize