This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.