Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
