I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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