Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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