JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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