Your face is a jimmy john
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
