everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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