Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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