Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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