there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
