you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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