Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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