I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
