She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
