She's JV to your varsity
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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