It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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