I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
