Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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