I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
