why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
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You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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