just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Damn victory sex feels great
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
