and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
