I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
