it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
