with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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