I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
