I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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