the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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