You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
