You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
