Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Green mimosas i think yes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
