Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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