Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize