I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
