Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
