I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
