i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
