is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
