Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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