I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
