She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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