I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
