I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ambien. No doubt about it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.