Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.

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(954): View more from Florida

God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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(940): View more from Texas

never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

So gin and wine won't be happening again

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(440): View more from Ohio

You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

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(231): View more from Michigan

i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

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(520): View more from Arizona

last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story

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