i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
