But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
