he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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