I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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