If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
