the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
