He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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