this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
