How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
