so that wasnt chicken after all
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
