i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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