I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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