marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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