I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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